Unrequited..

All I can remember is the cold and the darkness. I was born into it, grew up with it all around my existence and never knew that there was a brighter, more lustrous world up above until the day I was old enough to venture out into it. The darkness was my comfort, the deep tunnels my retreat. The little light that filtered through very rarely was an abhorrence, a plague that I avoided, fearing it was somehow potent enough to shatter my peace.

When finally the day arrived for me to go seeking out provisions for the community, an unnatural premonition of fear gripped me. I felt sick and dizzy, dragging my feet slowly through the familiar tunnels, towards the alien shimmering world above. I breathed deeply, urging my fears to lay silent and cold as with ever increasing audacity I trod through the dark underground maze.

Gradually soft light filled the tunnels, steadily dispelling the ever consistent darkness of my life, and with a sudden outburst of willfulness I rushed ahead and broke free of the sinister fear as sunlight filled my soul. I was blinded and lost, yet my life had changed forever. As my eyes slowly adjusted to the light, I was dazzled by the brilliance of the world around me. It was beautiful and astonishing, its hues filling my heart with warmth.

It was then that I saw her, standing quietly under the brilliance of the sun, her dusky skin glowing with pleasant health. She seemed to be lost in some thought of her own while the sun rays reflected off her whole being. She seemed surreal in her trance like state and I desperately wished to touch that warm skin, to feel its glow radiating through mine. And I kept coming back again and again each day to drink in her beauty. I loathed the dark tunnels now, their cold and gloom a stark contrast to everything up above. Her beauty was balm to my existence and the desire to feel her warmth kept steadily growing with each passing day.

It has been months and collecting provisions for the community is a tedious task. Yet I tread through the black tunnels towards the ever brilliant surface and look forward to seeing her up there each day. Of late I have watched her sleep, seemingly more exhausted, her glow gradually fading. A dark worry haunts her sleep and manifests itself around her eyes while her health diminishes like the setting sun on the horizon. Her skin deflates closer to her bones and a dark omen fills my heart.

So here I stand tonight, watching the moonlight fill her room with its pale hue. I creep through its vast expanse, my accelerated heart beat deafening to my own senses. The covers on her bed are soft and warm and exhilaration, thrill and ecstasy are almost blatantly palpable to my senses. Her hand lies upturned on the bed and as I stealthily climb up her wrist a deadly cold infuses my body. The warmth I had so yearned for fails to fill my being as I feel no pulse beating life through her. I recoil in fear, her death reaching out to me like suffocating tendrils craving to softly enclose round my neck. The room is suddenly flooded in pitch black darkness and I escape to the ever present deep tunnels to seek solace.

A Shard of Glass...

As the window shattered and disintegrated into a thousand pieces, I came alive. Glistening in the sunlight, scattering its rays to infinity and beyond, I realised for the first time what it was like to breathe, to feel the light on your face, to touch the cool breeze caressing your jagged ends.

There I lay amidst my siblings, all so bizarrely alike in our differences when we heard a sudden shrill cry followed by a cacophony of diverse notes that felt musical to my ears. I smiled to myself. Oh!! The joy of being alive!! Of letting it sweep you away with its temptations!!!

And then she arrived!! The large brown demoness, spiteful in her fury, glowering down from above and consuming all the light in her rage. Darkness enveloped us all and we lay cowering in our fears. She swung her enormous arms about herself and swooped down from above, clutching her long slender weapon, swinging it again and again in her wrath until I was flung to a pitch black corner while she gathered my siblings in her arms, tearing me apart from my family forever.

In this remote darkness I lay for days, mourning my loss, watching her shadow move about. Fear and gloom consumed my days and I craved to feel the sun rays, the stale breadth intensifying my need to sigh with the cool breeze. I felt closer to death, urging its dark cocoon to enclose me in its folds when I felt the touch of cool moonlight. For a moment I felt like I was in a dream; there lay my siblings adorned artistically around a red sheath which the demoness had proudly placed over by her lair’s entrance. They shone with joy, cheerily scattering the pale moonlight, alive and well cared for.

Anger flared within my depths, a rage of unrealistic proportions, consuming me from within like the darkness that had nurtured me for so long. Neglect, loneliness and loss heaving and crashing like the waves of the stormy ocean around my being until all I sought was vengeance. Patience became my friend, rage my ally. I could no longer watch my siblings glittering with joy in the sunlight. Patiently I waited, willing her to materialise in person, my awareness constantly following her shadow.

And at long last she came, unsuspecting and unwary she drifted into my corner. She loomed over me, large and majestic, as slowly she lowered her foot over my very body. Red blood came gushing out and her shrill cries filled the air. The scent of sweet blood filled my nostrils, joy flowed through my soul. And as she picked me up and threw me out into the bright sunshine, drenched in her blood I shattered into a million glittering pieces, finally finding peace.